Tuesday, March 04, 2014

MOM'S RECIPES

Most of the recipes I share here at Welcome Home came from my Mom's little recipe boxes which are so precious to me.

I look through those little cards and almost every single one has a heart drawn on it or a little loving phrase or an "I love you" written on the back. It's as if she knew that one day I would still need to see those words when I didn't have her here to say them anymore. Mixed throughout the recipe cards are little notes to herself about what she wanted to teach me next.

She loved me so much and so loved raising me...I was her last child and she loved teaching me to cook and to garden. She especially loved teaching me about life. Her mission was to raise a daughter who valued every minute of her life and shared as much love as she could with the rest of the world. I hope I'm making her proud.

Welcome Home is dedicated to my Mom who passed away suddenly 12 years ago. I loved my Mother with all my heart. She was the love of my life. She believed I could do anything and she was the truest friend I've ever had. I always say that God sent me to the arms of an angel and her arms were always open when I needed a hug. Her heart always understood when I needed a friend. Her gentle eyes were stern when I needed a lesson. Her strength and love guided me and gave me wings to fly. All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my Mom.

No one has ever loved me as much as she did. Never in my lifetime will I find a love so profoundly pure and so deep and unconditional. I cannot remember a moment in my life, before she left, that I didn't feel loved by her. It was a love like no other and I felt the same about her. It's been 12 years. today and I have never recovered from the loss. I doubt I ever will. To face life without that security and that promise of undying love is hard at times. But you move on and just accept what you've lost and realize that you will never fill that void.

Oh, I know she's still here. Like the sound of the bell ringing on a tiny little wind chime I have hanging here at my window. The window is closed and there is nothing to explain why it rings but it does. Just a single bell sounds out of nowhere sometimes. Or the times that I get the strong whiff of her perfume as I sit here at my desk or just before I go to sleep at night. There's no source from where it comes and no explanation....but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is my Mom that has come to say she loves me and that I am not alone. Then there are those unmistakable moments that I get a clear sign that she is here and speaks through my writing at Welcome Home. Words that I sometimes read and know they did not come from me alone.

I am certain there are those that think it's wishful thinking or they might not think I have all my faculties and need help....but those of you who have suffered a loss of this magnitude fully understand and can relate.

She is here. She does come..... and for those few moments, I feel that same undeniable love again and all is well with my life.

~Marty
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