Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Mind Games To Play With Humans

Mind Games To Play With Humans

After your humans give you a bath, don't let them towel you dry! Instead, jump up on their bed and dry yourself on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your human's bedtime.

Act like a convicted criminal. When your humans come home, put your ears back, with tail between your legs and chin down, and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. Note: this works best when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly, then, when the humans try to demonstrate to someone else how well you do it, stare blankly back at them. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.

Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the ball when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

Help your humans learn patience. When you go outside to pee, sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.

When out for a walk on the leash, alternate between choking and coughing every time a stranger walks by.

When your human is grooming you, you can really speed things up by passing a little gas and acting like you have no idea where it came from.

When begging for food, never look directly at the human eating. Always put your head down between your paws and look up at them with your sad face. Works every time.

From my book, "If Dogs Could Laugh Out Loud." Now available at iTunes....
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